MY NEW FRIEND
I met this young lady. We started talking. We talked for two hours. ( By talk I mean text). There is a huge hole in my heart left by the separation and loss of my daughters and my grandchildren. I was in need of a daughter. She was in need of a mother. I invited my young friend, her boyfriend and her son to come for Thanksgiving. Her boyfriend had a lot in common with Chuck. I was really looking forward to Thanksgiving.
THE HOLE IN MY HEART
I am not malicious. I am stupid. Sometimes I do not think before I speak or act or post things on FaceBook. I posted something on FaceBook that seemed harmless to me. Like my daughters, she got mad at me. Like my daughters, she blocked my phone calls. Like my daughters, she did not give me a chance to say I am sorry. Like my daughters she thinks I am toxic. She told all of our mutual friends that I am toxic. I was so heartbroken. But the truth is, nobody can fill the hole in my heart. I truly miss Heather. I truly miss Tiffany. I truly miss all of my grandchildren. But nobody in this earth can fill that hole in my heart.
GOD CAN FILL THE HOLE
But God can. I googled Bible verses about failure and rejection and guilt. There were so many Bible verses about God’s love and compassion for me. God’s love soothes and comforts me like nobody’s love on this earth can.
Next I tried to fill that hole with things. If we just buy an (expensive) real Christmas tree and stand. If we buy a lot of outdoor Christmas lights and decor- if we buy this or that. If I can just create beauty in and around our home that will fill in the hole in my heart. The truth is, buying things that I want can not fill the hole in my heart.
But Jesus can. I read Isaiah chapter 53 and I was reminded that Jesus was despised, rejected and a man of sorrows. I realize that Jesus can understand my pain and heartbreak as no human on earth can understand. I read Romans chapter 8 and I am told there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. I am a child of God. I am in Christ Jesus. I am told that nothing will ever make God stop loving me, or reject me.
I did not want to spend Thanksgiving with just my mother in law and my husband. I invited myself, my husband and my mother in law to my sister in law’s house. I told her to take her time, talk to her husband and kids and think about it. In less than 24 hours she welcomed us with open arms. Thanksgiving is a time for families to get together and to thank God for his many blessings.
THE HOLE IN MY HEART
But what if we had to spend Thanksgiving with my husband and my mother in law and nobody else? Even a wonderful happy family dinner can not fill that big hole in my heart.
WHY WE HAVE THANKSGIVING
But Jesus can. Thanksgiving is a time to look at all of the people in my life, and the things in my life and be thankful. We all have SOMETHING or SOMEONE in our lives that we can be grateful for.
I struggle with depression. Sometimes the medication, the Bible verses and the prayer do not take away my depression. Yes I prayed and asked God to heal me. Yes I believed that God could and would take away my depression. But God chose not to heal me. Sometimes I just allow myself to feel sad and to cry. At this point I sit and watch Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies on tv. They always have a happy ending.
MY HAPPY ENDING
And one day I will have a happy ending. I will be reunited with my mother, father, stepmother and others who have gone on before me. I will see Jesus. He will wipe away my tears. I will be amazed at the beauty all around me. I will be filled with more love and peace and joy than I have ever felt on earth. There will be no more dying, no more pain and no more sorrow. I will live in a mansion built by God Himself.
WHAT ABOUT YOU
What about you? Do you have a hole in your heart? A hole that only God can fill? Google Bible verses about God’s love. Jesus gave his life for you. He loves you. His death on the cross paid for all of your sins and he freely offers you the gift of eternal life. All you have to do is confess and repent of your sins believe in Jesus and ask Him to be your Savior today.
What does the Bible say?
“For God so loved the world (that means YOU) that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16