Depression is like a black cloud that envelops my heart and soul and mind. I cannot see the sun shining outside. I feel so weary and lifeless, like a worn out dishrag.
CHRIST IS IN ME
I am a Christian. I have faith. I love Jesus. I meditate on Scripture. I pray. I go to church every Sunday. I have asked God to remove my depression and I believed that He would deliver me. But God has chosen not to heal me.
Okay so originally this blog was very negative and depressing. Yes I do want to crawl back into bed, sleep through the day and not deal with my grief and heartbreak, and no I do not want to clean the house, read my Bible, exercise, go for a walk, sit outside…
but the thing is these are the things I must force myself to do or I will continue to be miserable and unhappy. Nobody can do this for me. I have to win this battle myself- with God’s help.
I meditated on Scripture. Still depressed. Read some more. Read FaceBook posts and blogs about how great God is. I reread the post I wrote just this morning about overcoming challenges. I started praying for other people. I prayed for young girls and boys being rescued from human trafficking. Reading about these young women and children made me realize just how blessed I am. I forced myself to sit outside for 20 minutes. It was warm and sunny. I wrote in my notebook. I cleaned one room of my house and it looks great. I called a friend and we had a nice chat.
I also decided to something nice for someone else. My sister does so many nice things for other people I wanted to do something nice for her. I made a mess in the kitchen making homemade lasagna for Mary and her family. As it happened, she invited my husband and I to come over and share the lasagna with them. I FORCED MYSELF to clean the kitchen a second time after making the lasagna – it was a royal pain in the butt and I didn’t feel like doing it but I did it anyway. These are the things that helped me overcome depression for today. Tomorrow is another day but I am focusing on having a good day today.