Is your family wounded or broken today?

I have a certain routine to my day, especially my morning routine. I wake up, spend time with my husband before he leaves for work, have my cup of coffee, read posts and post on FaceBook, then at 7:00 or 7:30 am I always watch Joyce Meyer on tv. She always inspires me and stirs me up. I take notes of her great messages then post them on FB. After that I read 2-3 chapters in the Old Testement and one chapter of the New Testement in my Bible. Next I open my prayer notebook and pray for my friends and my loved ones. Then I get dressed go for my outdoor walk with the dogs and feed my birds. And then continue with the rest of my day.

Well today I joined WordPress.com and I want to start blogging. The more I read, the more excited I got. I have so many painful and joyful and life changing experiences in my life that I would love to share with people. I love to write and I especially want to help people that are hurting. I think God could really us me. I was so engrossed in reading about blogging and readiing people’s blogs that I totally lost track of time.

Then a dear friend called who I have not spoken with in a long time and we chatted and she shared her prayer requests with me. By that time it was time to take my dogs out for a walk- I had not taken them out since 4:30 am and it was already 9:15.

And then it happened. This black cloud settled over me. I did NOT want to read my Bible. I could think of a lot of things I would rather do because I really really did not want to read my Bible. I called one of my best friends. We usually chat on the phone for a while. I explained all of this to her and she prayed a 2 sentence prayer that God would speak to my heart and I would open my Women of Faith Study Bible. I literally had to force myself.

As soon as I started reading the Word of God I was instantly glad I did. I love to read the old familiar stories in Genesis and I read the study notes and I always learn something, I am always comforted or encouraged or inspired or convicted of my sin or just be reminded of the woman God wants me to be.

This morning Genesis chapter 33 spoke especially personally to me. It concerned family relationships. Jacob and Esau were brothers- they never liked each other, they never got along and to make matters worse the mother favored one son and the father favored the other. While the father was on his deathbed his wife and her favorite son tricked the father into giving the birthright and a full blessing to the younger son. ( The custom was the oldest child had the birthright and got his father’s full blessing and the younger brothers would serve the older brother and the older brother would gain all the land and be blessed by God and be prosperous.) Esau, the older son hated Jacob and planned to kill him after his father died. The mother sent Joseph away. Jacob was gone for 14 years- he served seven years working for one wife and another 7 years working for the second wife.

Now we come to Genesis 33. My chapter for today. I understand now why the devil did NOT want me to read this chapter…Jacob is returning home. He fears that his brother, who is approaching with a great army of men will kill him, his family, his servants and all his livestock. Jacob sends his servants ahead to his brother with gifts of livestock. The brother refuses the gifts but instead Esau runs to his brother and embraces his brother and they wept. Their hard hearts were softened and they felt love and mercy and forgiveness for each other.

Does your family live in perfect harmony with each other or is there conflict and strife?My 4 children did not have a happy childhood- they each grew up in different homes- 3 of them were in numerous different foster homes. Each one says they have forgiven me 25 years later but our family is still wounded and broken. One of my adult children visited me on Christmas Eve and we had a great time before he drove back to D.C. Two of my other children drove together from New York and New England to surprise me with a visit. I got to see my granddaughter who I have not seen for 3 years. My child who lives in Michigan was there also with my other two grandchildren… I live in Michigan. We had the happiest 4 days that we have had in many many years. It was a joy to see my children and grandchildren bond with each other. I was filled with joy. Then Friday night words were said in anger- cruel unkind words that left all of us hurt, devastated and angry. My son and my daughter left two days later and two of my children are not speaking to me, I cannot see my grandchildren- they want nothing to do with me and one of my children wants nothing to do with anyone in our family. So, as you can imagine, I am deeply hurt and dissappointed. But I have chosen to focus on the happy times we did share together and now my focus is on God, my loving husband, the two children that do love me and want to be their mother, my dogs, my cat and my birds.

I can see now why not he devil did his very best to keep me from reading the story of Jacob and Esau. If there was hope for these two there is hope for my family- and for yours. Whatever your family situation is God can heal it if we turn to Jesus, ask him to forgive our sin, be our Lord and Savior and put all of our faith in his death on the cross, burial and resurrection. Once we do this we are born again, we become a child of God and we can pray to him and give him all of our worries and cares and burdens and ask him to help us to patiently wait until his timing is perfect. He does not always promise us we will get what we want and we need to ask him to help us accept the things we cannot change… but he hears our every prayer, he loves us, he loves our children and our family members and He knows what is best for us. All I know is that if he could soften the hearts of Jacob and Esau he can soften the hearts of anyone if we pray and trust him and patiently wait.

# Daily Inspirational

Daily Inspiration

How I pray

I love to pray. I used to have long lists of people I prayed for every day. Every day I would go down my list and pray for those people. All I ever did was pray for the needs of the sick and the dying and the poor and the homeless and the Veterans and the military.. the list was endless. So I would kneel before God and ask Him to meet everybody’s needs especially for the needs of the people I love. I approached God as though He was the great Santa in the sky- I would give Him my list of things that I wanted. I prayed the same prayers over and over again until one day I got tired of it and I stopped praying altogether.

A former Pastor’s wife suggested I pray ACTS- an acronym for Adoration, Confession, Supplication and Thanksgiving. I was not really well prepared to do the Adoration part. It felt strange to me and I could only come up with a handful of words to praise God. Then I read through Psalms one day- not all of them, but a lot of them- and wrote down all the things David called God. He is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my refuge, my strength, my Creator and so much more. I wrote all the things God is to me down in my new prayer journal. If I run out of words to praise God with I review my list from Psalms. I combine Thanksgiving with this and I thank God for being my creator, I thank God for being my redeemer, I thank God for being my refuge and strength.

The next step is confession. I confess any known sins- pride, envy, selfishness, gluttony. Some people may not agree with this but I have written out Psalm 51 in my prayer journal and I pray this Psalm asking God to cleanse me from my sin every day.

Supplication is my third step. I pray for my loved ones, my Pastor, my church, the prayer needs that come to my mind as the Holy Spirit speaks to me. I have set Thursdays aside as a day of prayer and fasting and Bible study and Bible memorization. On Thursdays I spend a lengthy time in prayer asking God to meet the needs of my family and of others. I use the written requests in my prayer journal that people have asked me to pray for.

Thanksgiving. I have so many, many things I am thankful for. I am thankful for my life -especially because I have been so close to death many times in my life. God has protected me and healed me and allowed to to live one more day, and another and another. I thank God for life and health for my husband, my family, my friends. I thank him for a husband who is a good man, a man of strength and character who loves me. I thank him for a roof over my head, electricity, plumbing, heat in the winter and ac in the summer. I thank  God for the abundance of food that we have to eat. I thank him that I am not totally blind or totally deaf or totally retarded or in a wheelchair or missing limbs. I thank God for His mercy, His Grace, His forgiveness of sins. I thank Him for dying on the cross to pay for all my sins and for His resurrection showing the whole world that He alone has power over death, hell and the grackle. I thank Him for adopting me into His family when I was born again and became a child of God. My list of things I am thankful for goes on and on. I believe a grateful heart is pleasing to God.

Well- that is how I pray. I am ashamed to admit I do not pray using ACTS  every morning. Sometimes I just talk to Jesus throughout the day. When I am sad, or scared or angry I talk to Jesus. When I am happy and good things happen to me or my family I say thank you Jesus. When people hurt me I talk to Jesus. And before every meal my husband and I thank Jesus for our food and we pray for friends and loved ones who need a job, friends and loved ones who are battling cancer and for the needs of our friends the Bowlen family.

I hope this has been a blessing to you. If it has, please leave a comment below. Comments are always a blessing to me- that is the only way I know that what I have written is a blessing to someone

#Reflection

#Personal Growth

#Everydayinspiration

#Dailypost

#Differentsmiles

#Reasonstosmile

#Smile

#Hope

#Nevergiveup 

#Motivation

#Life

Postaday

#Relax

#Mentalhealth

#Discover

#Stress

#Mentalillness

My 7 Favorite Places…

I have done a lot of traveling. I have loved every minute of it… if I could tell you about my favorite places… in random order… where would they be…

I loved Germany. I love the beautiful German castles that have been there for centuries. I have only seen 2 of them, and I don’t even remember the name of the 2 that I have seen. I would love to explore more castles. I would like to see the castle in Germany that the Walt Disney castle was designed from. I would love to see Berlin.

I would so enjoy going to Paris, France again. I would see all the things I saw the first time (except instead of seeing a century old beautiful church I would actually visit Notre Dame). I would go back to the Eiffel Tower, dinner at a French restaurant, the Moulan Rouge, a boat ride down the Siene river, a visit to the square that is filled with the artists painting, the castle at Versailles- the Louvre, downtown Paris, a tour of a perfume factory, a visit to a French wine farm- it is hard to believe I did all this in 3 days.

I loved Arizona. The Grand Canyon is such an amazing place. I am not an artist but I wish I could paint a picture of a beautiful sunset and the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen was a sunset at the Grand Canyon.

San Diego was another one of my favorite places. I lived there for 4 months. I would go to beautiful Balboa park with gorgeous gardens and water fountains and let a pretty parrot sit on my arm again. I would visit one of the outdoor shopping malls- regular malls with 2 floors but the second floor ceiling is a beautiful sunny sky. It was so much fun to combine 2 of my biggest loves- shopping and sunshine. I would visit the pandas at the world famous San Diego zoo and the whales and dog shows at Sea World and go to one of the the beaches in San Diego and go to all the touristy shops on the beach.

I wish I could return to Washington DC in the spring when all the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I have never been to the White House. I would love to go to the White House with my son Andrew and go back through all the Smithsonian museums. I would really enjoy going to Mount Vernon and exploring the home of George Washington.

I am looking forward to spending time in Massachusetts with my friends and my family- especially my daughter and granddaughter and my nieces and nephews. If I had a full week there I would love to go in the fall. Autumn in New England is more beautiful than Autumn in any other place. I would drive through the Berkshire mountains. I would visit Historic Boston and take a tour. I would visit the witch Museum in Salem, the seashore at Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard, Plimith Colony and if I could I would bring my daughters my grandchildren, my nieces and nephews and their children, my best friends and their children and we would explore Massachusetts together.

I would love to return to Buffalo and revisit the most beautiful waterfall ever- Niagara Falls and go on another ride on the Maid of the Mist and the Buffalo zoo and a boat ride through the locks at Lake Erie and have another evening pub tour of downtown Buffalo with my son Bill.

I would love to go to all of these places with my very best friend, my partner, the love of my life my husband Chuck. These are my top favorite places to be.
#Travel
#Vacation
#Inspiration
#Hope
#Dailypost
#Everydayinspiration
#Mentalhealth
#Personaldevelopment
#Mentalillbess
#Differentsmikes
#Reasonstosmile
#Smile

A Little Game I play

I have this little game I like to play on FB. I take one of my posts. The post may have 7 likes or it may have25 likes. I look at the names of all the people who like my posts. I look at the names of people who love my posts- and click on the little heart. Then I do something unusual. I look at the names of people who likes posts and count how many of the people who like my posts live in Michigan, are from Michigan or that I met because I live in Michigan. ( Now consider the fact that I lived in Massachusetts for approximately 45 years.) When I first began doing this all my likes were from friends who live in or came from Massachusetts. Months passed. A few of my Michigan friends liked my posts. More months passed. About 1/4 and then later 1/3 of my likes were Michigan people. More months passed. Well today on two of my posts, half of my likes were friends in and from Michigan. I realize this is a silly little game but it illustrates either that my number of friends in Michigan has increased, my friendships with Michigan people have become deeper or simply that more of my Michigan people happened to like my posts. It is a fluke, I know. My number of Michigan people who like my posts may go back down to 1/4 again tomorrow. But with or without doing a survey of WHO likes or does not like my posts I realize- I have lived in Michigan for five years now, my friendships are growing stronger and my roots are growing stronger in Michigan. I love Michigan, Michigan is my home now, it is a beautiful state and I am happy to live here in Michigan with my wonderful husband, my 2 loveable dogs, my stuck- up and beautiful cat, my birds and the chickens who live next door and come to visit me. There’s no place like home.
#Inspiration

# Everydayinspiration

#Dreams

#Hope

#Dailypost

#Differentsmikes

#Reasons to Smile

#Smile 

#Personaldevelopment

#MentalHealth 

#Mentalillness

#Discover

#Vacation

Well I am feeling really emotional today. I told my son he would no longer need to call me anymore and I would not bother him any more. He said okay. I love my son very much and I want him to be happy even if it means he will be happy without me in his life.  I have totally lost track of time so I do not know if that was one week ago or two weeks ago- I think it was two weeks ago.

When my mother died- 34 years ago my  Dad gave the bedroom dressers( that were given to me from my meme and Pepe- I grew up with those dressers) to my sister. A year ago she gave them to my daughter. I wanted my daughter to have them.

Six days ago I received a text. My daughter and grandchildren were gone. They had left Michigan and moved to Virginia. I am heartbroken.

My husband had his overnight this week. He is leaving for another overnight Sunday night. I miss him when he is gone.

Yesterday we lost our internet. That means no email, Facebook, Instagram, Amazon, blogging, Allrecipes, Google and Words With Friends.

I do not know where to begin. My son sent me a message and told me he loves me and not to stress out. Very good advice- I am trying Bill. I was so very happy to get that message from my son. I love him very much.

My daughter no longer wants my childhood dressers. She is giving them to my sister who is giving them to me. I love those dressers. We can also have a new couch. I am so excited! 

My daughter is coming back to Michigan to get some stuff. My sister is having a yard sale tomorrow, Emily and Julian will be selling stuff tomorrow and we are invited to spend the day and help with the yard sale! I am so excited- I am absolutely weepy!

Obviously I have my internet back. And I am ordering beautiful personalized gifts from Amazon  for my 3 grandchildrens’ birthdays- absolutely gorgeous gifts that will be here long after I am gone.

I ate a chocolate chip cookie mixed with cookie dough ice cream topped with a whole lot of caramel. I am allergic to gluten and dairy so I will be really sick later but like I said I am feeling very emotional- shopping and gorging is a great comfort to me. It looks like this is going to be a great weekend after all!

Thank you Jesus.

#Inspiration

#Dreams

#Nevergiveup

#Everydayinspiration

#Dailypost

#Discover

#Motivation

#Life

#Personal development

#Postaday

#Differentsmiles

#Reasonstosmile

#Reasonstosmile

#Smile

#Relax

#Stress

#Reflection

#mentalillness

#Mentalhealth

We have no internet when we get home. 

We have no Internet at my house. That means tomorrow we have

No email

No blogs

No reading or writing FaceBook posts

No beautiful photos on Instagram 

No Games With Friends- scrabble

No googling Bible verses on a given topic

No Allrecipes for dinner tomorrow night

No shopping on Amazon

I better look up my blog on activities from A to Z before we get home!

Am I the Only One?

Am I the only one

Who feels like nobody cares?

Am I the lonely one

With heavy burdens to bear?

Am I the only one

Who feels like a failure at times? 

Am I the only one

Who crosses over the lines?

Who says what never should be said?

Who often wishes she was dead? 

Am I the only one

Consumed with sadness and sorrow?

Am I the only one

Who just cannot face tomorrow? 

But then I am reminded

By that still soft voice in my heart

I am reminded

Just how faithful Thou art.

You died for my sins and my sorrow

So that I could face tomorrow.

You will never give up on me

No matter how rotten I feel.

You will always always love me

You will help me to heal.

I am never all alone I see

You are always here with me.

Thank you for your mercy

Thank you for your grace.

I am so very grateful

 That you died in my place.

So I refuse to give up

I will stand up one more time.

I refuse to give up

For Jesus you are mine. 

Thank you Jesus

Amen

#Inspiration

#Everydayinspiration

#Dailypost

#Discover

#Motivation

#Life

#Personaldevelopment

#Postaday

#Differentsmiles

#Reasonstosmile

#smile

#Mentalillness

#Mentalhealth

#Stress

#Reflection

#Frightened

Acceptance

“Lord help me to accept the things I can not change…” the prayer goes. Let’s personalize this a little bit… help me to accept:

My husband only has 3 pair of really shabby jeans for work and he will not let me buy new ones

My husband is only halfway healed (his back) and he will start sawing his big logs and will probably hurt his back again

I am mentally ill

I have bipolar depression

I have Borderline Personality Disorder- 

I am a terrible driver

It is very hard to be my child, husband, sister, brother, friend

For the present moment 3 of my children want nothing to do with me

I only have 4 close friends in Michigan, This sentence started out with only 2 people but ended up with 4. I am happy with 4.

I have a LOT of close friends that I have known for 40 years but they are in Massachusetts or from Massachusetts

I live in Michigan. I love Michigan. I miss Massachusetts, I love Massachusetts but my home is and will continue to be in Michigan. I have been to a lot of really beautiful places in Michigan. I love the 4 seasons of Michigan.

Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change…

What is the opposite of acceptance? It is wilfullness. We refuse to accept the things we can not change. 

I was being willful thinking all of my friends were in Massachusetts. By refusing to accept all the wonderful friends I have right here in Michigan. I was making myself lonely, miserable and unhappy. Acceptance- I do have 4 close friends which is enough and many wonderful friends from Maplelawn Baptist Church.

Accepting present circumstances does not mean that we like the current situation or we agree with it. Being judgemental about a person or or a circumstance (he, she or it is all bad) makes US frustrated, angry miserable and unhappy. Waiting for my children to call me makes me so angry- now I am trying to accept that they are not going to call me. I am more peaceful letting go of 3 of my children and being happy with the one who loves and accepts me.

We need to close our eyes… breathe slowly and deeply… feel our body in the chair… feel any tension… breathe slowly and deeply and relax…listen to the sounds around us… notice the smells… now look- really look at our surroundings… and then let go of  those people or situations we are judgemental about, those situations we refuse to accept and let them just float away… let each one be like a balloon… imagine it just floating away.. let go and let God. Realize that it is not your problem and you do not have to fix it (unless it really is your problem and you are able to fix it)…let all those angry feelings just float away like a balloon..

Ask God to help you you accept the things you cannot change… take time to stop, relax, do the exercise above- (Be still and know that HE is God). God can and will give us peace that passes all understanding and contentment with the good things and good people we have in our lives.

#Inspiration

#Everydayinspiration

#Dailypost

#Discover

#Motivation

#Life

#Personaldevelopment

#Postaday

#Differentsmiles

#Reasonstosmile

#Smile

#Relax

#Stress

#Success

#Reflection

#Mentalillness

#Mentalhealth