Is your family wounded or broken today?

I have a certain routine to my day, especially my morning routine. I wake up, spend time with my husband before he leaves for work, have my cup of coffee, read posts and post on FaceBook, then at 7:00 or 7:30 am I always watch Joyce Meyer on tv. She always inspires me and stirs me up. I take notes of her great messages then post them on FB. After that I read 2-3 chapters in the Old Testement and one chapter of the New Testement in my Bible. Next I open my prayer notebook and pray for my friends and my loved ones. Then I get dressed go for my outdoor walk with the dogs and feed my birds. And then continue with the rest of my day.

Well today I joined and I want to start blogging. The more I read, the more excited I got. I have so many painful and joyful and life changing experiences in my life that I would love to share with people. I love to write and I especially want to help people that are hurting. I think God could really us me. I was so engrossed in reading about blogging and readiing people’s blogs that I totally lost track of time.

Then a dear friend called who I have not spoken with in a long time and we chatted and she shared her prayer requests with me. By that time it was time to take my dogs out for a walk- I had not taken them out since 4:30 am and it was already 9:15.

And then it happened. This black cloud settled over me. I did NOT want to read my Bible. I could think of a lot of things I would rather do because I really really did not want to read my Bible. I called one of my best friends. We usually chat on the phone for a while. I explained all of this to her and she prayed a 2 sentence prayer that God would speak to my heart and I would open my Women of Faith Study Bible. I literally had to force myself.

As soon as I started reading the Word of God I was instantly glad I did. I love to read the old familiar stories in Genesis and I read the study notes and I always learn something, I am always comforted or encouraged or inspired or convicted of my sin or just be reminded of the woman God wants me to be.

This morning Genesis chapter 33 spoke especially personally to me. It concerned family relationships. Jacob and Esau were brothers- they never liked each other, they never got along and to make matters worse the mother favored one son and the father favored the other. While the father was on his deathbed his wife and her favorite son tricked the father into giving the birthright and a full blessing to the younger son. ( The custom was the oldest child had the birthright and got his father’s full blessing and the younger brothers would serve the older brother and the older brother would gain all the land and be blessed by God and be prosperous.) Esau, the older son hated Jacob and planned to kill him after his father died. The mother sent Joseph away. Jacob was gone for 14 years- he served seven years working for one wife and another 7 years working for the second wife.

Now we come to Genesis 33. My chapter for today. I understand now why the devil did NOT want me to read this chapter…Jacob is returning home. He fears that his brother, who is approaching with a great army of men will kill him, his family, his servants and all his livestock. Jacob sends his servants ahead to his brother with gifts of livestock. The brother refuses the gifts but instead Esau runs to his brother and embraces his brother and they wept. Their hard hearts were softened and they felt love and mercy and forgiveness for each other.

Does your family live in perfect harmony with each other or is there conflict and strife?My 4 children did not have a happy childhood- they each grew up in different homes- 3 of them were in numerous different foster homes. Each one says they have forgiven me 25 years later but our family is still wounded and broken. One of my adult children visited me on Christmas Eve and we had a great time before he drove back to D.C. Two of my other children drove together from New York and New England to surprise me with a visit. I got to see my granddaughter who I have not seen for 3 years. My child who lives in Michigan was there also with my other two grandchildren… I live in Michigan. We had the happiest 4 days that we have had in many many years. It was a joy to see my children and grandchildren bond with each other. I was filled with joy. Then Friday night words were said in anger- cruel unkind words that left all of us hurt, devastated and angry. My son and my daughter left two days later and two of my children are not speaking to me, I cannot see my grandchildren- they want nothing to do with me and one of my children wants nothing to do with anyone in our family. So, as you can imagine, I am deeply hurt and dissappointed. But I have chosen to focus on the happy times we did share together and now my focus is on God, my loving husband, the two children that do love me and want to be their mother, my dogs, my cat and my birds.

I can see now why not he devil did his very best to keep me from reading the story of Jacob and Esau. If there was hope for these two there is hope for my family- and for yours. Whatever your family situation is God can heal it if we turn to Jesus, ask him to forgive our sin, be our Lord and Savior and put all of our faith in his death on the cross, burial and resurrection. Once we do this we are born again, we become a child of God and we can pray to him and give him all of our worries and cares and burdens and ask him to help us to patiently wait until his timing is perfect. He does not always promise us we will get what we want and we need to ask him to help us accept the things we cannot change… but he hears our every prayer, he loves us, he loves our children and our family members and He knows what is best for us. All I know is that if he could soften the hearts of Jacob and Esau he can soften the hearts of anyone if we pray and trust him and patiently wait.

# Daily Inspirational

Daily Inspiration



Joyce was at a restaurant, waiting to be seated and she felt uncomfortable. The hostess looked really weird. She had hair going in five different directions, in five different colors, and piercings all over her body. Joyce’s wall went up. The evangelist who was with her said, “I LOVE your hair! How do you get it to do that?” Do you see the difference. The evangelist was so comfortable with someone that did not look like her, dress like her, wear her hair like hers. This is how you start a conversation with someone. Jesus loved people that were not religious, not accepted by religious people, not like Him, were despised by religious people.


In the second story, a cashier asked what they were doing that day. Joyce said she was doing a religious seminar. The cashier said, “Oh, I am spiritual too.” (A lot of people claim to be spiritual but have no relationship with Jesus.) The cashier began to curse. ( You can be a Christian and curse. I am ashamed to say I am a Christian and I curse). Anyway the cashier said, “I’m sorry about my cursing. I bet God himself curses.” Joyce had an angry looking face, looked her in the eye and sternly said “ GOD does NOT curse.” Her friend added, “But He loves people who do.” “Her friend was trying to catch a fish and Joyce was trying to clean the fish up before it had been caught.” When people do not think, talk, act or look like us we don’t need to clean them up and make them more like us. We need to share God’s love with them and lead them to Jesus. Talk to people. Be friendly, say hi, ask how they are doing today, compliment them. You might be uncomfortable doing that but if you do, after a while you will be more comfortable doing it.


In the third story, Joyce went to a coffee shop. She got into a short conversation with the cashier who said she really wanted a coffee pot but she could not afford one. The Holy Spirit told Joyce to buy the woman a coffee pot. Well, Joyce didn’t want to. She did not want to look weird to this girl, she did not want the girl to think she was hitting on her but she went to the mall, bought a nice coffee pot, and gave it to her. The girl started crying, and said she couldn’t take the coffee pot. Joyce told her she could. Three hours later, she was in the ladies room and the girl walked in and asked, “Could you please tell me why you are the nicest person in the world?” Joyce shared how God had blessed her, done so much in her life, changed her whole life and she wanted to bless this woman. The woman said that her mother died when she was twelve and she had been mad at her higher power ever since. God used Joyce, and a gift, to lead this person closer to Christ.


When is the last time you bought a gift for someone else for no reason at all? God has blessed me, and right now is telling me to give something new, that I bought for myself, to a friend who has done so much for me and never asked for anything in return. When is the last time you saw a homeless person on the street, or downtown and you drove to the nearest McDonald’s, pizza parlor, or gas station and bought them some food and a station and bought food and a beverage for that person? I know some of these homeless people get a lot of money or use the money for alcohol. But God wants us to love others- even homeless people who are not homeless at all and just want money. I once bought a slice of pizza for a skinny homeless guy (after I saw my friend Jackie but a piece of pie for someone and gave me the idea). The guy told me, “Wow! You rock! Thank you so much!” Then I walked out into the street without paying attention and almost got run over but God saved me). A lot of these homeless people are veterans, or kids who were not wanted in their families, or have mental health issues, but then, a lot of them are con artists.


After my train ride from Michigan to Oregon and on my way home, I was at a coffee shop near the train station in Chicago early in the morning and I saw three homeless people. I went to the coffee shop, took my time, drank my coffee, ate my blueberry muffin, and then bought hot coffee and muffins for the three homeless people. When I got where had been, they were gone. If I had brought them some coffee and muffins first, and then had my own coffee and food I would have been a blessing to them and I could have told them that God loves them.


I was interrupted by a woman from my pharmacist just now, and I felt God telling me to tell this woman that God loves her. I thought, she is not going to care if I tell her that but at the end of the conversation I said to the pharmacist, “I just want to tell you that God loves you. Have a bladed day.” “Thank you, that really means a lot to me,” she said. I have no idea what that woman is going through, but even a few words can really bless someone.


Visit people in hospitals or nursing homes. Take in foster children- don’t just take one- take all of the brothers and sisters so they can grow up together. Love them like Jesus does. Babysit for others for free. Give couples or single moms a night out and a break from the kids. Call lonely widows. Send a card to anyone who has lost a loved one in the past two years. Bake cookies for a neighbor. Buy a meal for a homeless people. Going to church for two hours once a week is a great thing to do, and we should do it but we need to go out from our churches and share God’s love in our communities- our mission field.

Even now, I am thinking- this blog is too long. Nobody wants to read this blog. This blog is not going to make anyone run out and do these things. What difference can my blog really make? I cannot make a difference in your life. But God can. God can give me the words to say to people, the words to write and God can speak to your hearts and use you inwhatever way He chooses. May God get the glory for this blog.

If this blog has been a blessing to you, please be a blessing to me by leaving a comment below. If there is something you did not like about this blog, please leave a comment. ❤️Terri

“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and You gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and You gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was in prison, and You came to Me’”

“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite YOU in, or naked and clothe You? And when did we see You sick and in prison, and come to you?’”

“The King will answer and say to them, them, I assure you, and most solemnly say to you, to the extent that you did it for one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it for Me.’”

“Then He will say to those on His left, ‘Leave me, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels (demons); for I was a stranger and gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink;.. He will reply to them, ‘I assure you and most solemnly say to you, to the extent that you did not do it for one of the least of them, you did not do it for me.’ Then these will go away into eternal punishment, but those who are righteous and in right standing with God will go into eternal life.” Matthew 25:34-46

Dear God,

Please soften our hearts. Help us to see each person as a dry and thirsty human being, thirsting desperately for somebody to love them. We have no idea what people are going through. Please give us the desire and the courage to be friendly, to talk to people – even people who look, talk and act differently than we do and help us to love with our actions and our wallet, and not just in words. As You have loved each one of us, let us love one another. In Jesus name I pray, amen.



I woke up this morning, checked the date and sure enough, today is July 30, my husband Chuck’s birthday. I would have liked to have stayed home and made everything special for him, but I had to go grocery shopping. By the time I went grocery shopping, came home and put the groceries away it was 12:15.

But I am still going to make Chuck’s birthday a happy one. The other day when I was cleaning, organizing and decluttering I came across a big heart shaped cake pan. I made my husband a chocolate birthday cake (a la Pillsbury,) moist and great tasting. I greased and floured my pan, mixed my ingredients, but the batter was not right. It was so thick and barely covered the bottom of the pan. I looked at the box again. I had forgotten to add one cup of water. So I washed my pan again, started all over, added the water and mixed it. It was flat when it went in the oven but when it came out it looked the jiffy pop popcorn we used to make on the stove- bulging on the middle. So I got a knife, leveled the cake, got rid of the bulge and I wished that I could get rid of my bulge that easily. I hope the frosting will miraculously go on smoothly with the the top layer of the cake cut off, I wish I could turn the cake over but I have no cake plate that big.

Next, I fried my two pounds of hamburger to make lasagna for dinner- his favorite. There is only one problem. We no longer have a lasagna pan and I forgot to buy a foil one. I decided to do it in two square glass pans. I forgot to buy the lasagna ( which would not have cracked in half for two small square pans anyway) . Well I mixed my 8 cheeses, and layered the pans, sauce, cheese mixture a layer of spaghetti broken up about 3 inches long, more sauce more spaghetti topped with mozzarella cheese. I have another problem. No room in the fridge. I have to clean out the fridge, throw food away, cook chicken I thawed out for myself finish 3 loads of laundry ( I stripped the beds- we have no clean sheets) but 2 loads of laundry are already in the washer and dryer and more on the clothesline. So somehow I need to get all this done before he comes home.

I am going to have a beautiful table with my tablecloth, nice dishes and a vase of flowers. But because Chuck is putting flooring down his tiles, tools and other stuff was all over the kitchen table. I cleaned off the table. It looks great. But the kitchen sink and counters are piled high with dishes, tools, tiles, and a bunch of other junk.

For once, I hope my husband does not get out early today and surprise me.


And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Dear God,

Please help me to make this day a happy day for my husband. He does so much to make me happy. Help the frosting to go smoothly on the cake, the “lasagna” to taste wonderful, the laundry and dishes to get done, the bed to be made with clean sheets and could you please give me enough time to wrap presents, sign cards, take a shower and put clean and pretty clothes on? My husband is a good man. He will be happy with his dinner and cake. Thank you Lord for giving me a good husband who loves me very much. I am truly blessed. And now, to clean out and organize the fridge…



Does your home look pretty and clean? Or do you have a lot of clutter in your home? I had a lot of clutter. Today I threw away a beautiful brown horse figurine. I loved that figurine. But the mane was chipped and it had no tail- that was broken off years ago. I have 4 tiny glass angels with broken wings. But each angel has the name, birth dates and death dates of Chuck’s Dad, my mom, dad, and stepmom. I will never throw those away.


I decided to get rid of all of the clutter in our kitchen. I have totally stripped everything off of my kitchen walls. I am a photographer. I take photos of people, places and things. My refrigerator, every cabinet and every wall was covered with photos. I took all of my photos down. It was time to declutter. We cleaned, primed and painted the kitchen walls. I put up new pictures. ( I still have one wall with six photos- the most important people in my life.) Our kitchen looks amazing. It is by far the prettiest kitchen I ever had.


Do you have a lot of clutter? Start today. Pick a room. Take everything out of that room. If you cannot afford to prime and paint your walls just wash them. (And yes if you get really expensive cleaner, and clean your walls really well you can prime and paint over wallpaper). After you have totally cleaned the walls and woodwork put in minimal furniture. Then only put back the very best of your things on your walls and get rid of all the rest. Take them to a thrift store. Redesign. Your room will look beautiful.


In this same way, de-clutter your heart, soul, and mind. Take out all of those negative, angry, bitter, unforgiving, unhappy, fearful, stressful, self loathing, miserable, unhappy garbage thoughts. Dump them all out at the cross. Do this over and over again, as many times as you need to.


Then put new things in your mind. Choose the very best thoughts. Think of the people and pets you are grateful for. Think of all of the qualities your spouse has. Think of all the qualities you have. Meditate on the very best thing. Focus on God. Spend time reading the Bible. Renew your mind with thoughts about our Creator, Designer, Shepherd, Redeemer, Rock, Shelter, Fortress, Savior, Sacrifice for sins, and our dear Friend. We will have peace and joy if we stop focusing on circumstances and people and start focusing on God.


I don’t know if of any of you need this message. This is the message that God gave me today. I need to read this, and remind myself that life is good. We all have pain, sorrow, stressors, struggles and we always will but if we dump out all the garbage thoughts, focus on God and the people in our lives who love us, we will have peace and joy and love. Then we can share God’s peace, joy, and love with others.


Finally, my brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s Word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good report; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things. Philippians 4:8

Dear God,

You know all of my thoughts, my hurts, my struggles, my negative feelings, thoughts and emotions, all of my sinful words, thoughts and actions and yet you still love me. Today I am dumping all of my hurts, habits and hang ups at the cross. You have paid for my sins. You offer me freedom, peace, joy and love in exchange for guilt, shame, regret, anger, bitterness, complaining, self pity, pride, temper and selfishness. I thank you Jesus. I praise you Jesus. You are so good. You are so great. You are worthy of my honor, reverence, gratitude, devotion and love. You created me. You gave me life. You have snatched me from the jaws of death so many times. I wake up each morning, cancer free, because you have healed me. You keep my heart pumping, my lungs breathing, my brain working, my muscles moving. Thank you Jesus. I pray in Your holy name. Amen.




I have 5 minutes to write a blog for my 5 Minute Friday (free) writing group. Today’s prompt is the word order. Oh boy, could I write about that!


My life is so out of order. I have destroyed my relationships with my daughters and one brother and damaged relationships with my friends and my two sons. (Because of God, my marriage is still going strong, because I have a great husband. But even that relationship could use more order.) Why have I created chaos on my relationships? Because of my bipolar depression, my mood swings, and my terrible temper. If I forget to take my medicine even one time, I get angry and turn into a monster, like the Hulk. In the heat of the moment, there is no stopping me.


My finances are out of order. We are redoing our kitchen and at the same time I got a credit card for Amazon. I received $150 of free credit and probably charged the same or more. I am designing a room for the first time in my life. I have spent a small fortune in order to have a pretty, rustic, farmhouse kitchen. It will take me a long time to pay off this credit card and regain some financial order.


My house is out of order- I mean it is total chaos. We have been painting our kitchen. We barely have space for our Labrador and doxie in the living room (and they are banned from the kitchen.) Our kitchen chairs, boxes and a big laundry basket full of stuff are in the living room. Boxes of other new items and old items taken off the walls in the kitchen are infesting out two smaller bedrooms. I cannot find anything. It is total chaos. I long for order in my home.


Well, I have gone slightly over my 5 minutes. Jesus is the answer to all of my needs for order and stability. I need to obey Him, submit to Him and get out of the drivers seat. I need Jesus to be the driver, Chuck to be the assistant driver and me to follow where they lead me. Most of all, I need to be happy, grateful and truly appreciate all of my blessings from God, especially all of the wonderful loving people in my life. I have the best husband and two dogs ever. I also need to work with my very tough. very good new professional DBT therapist. God is definitely using her to help me regain and maintain independence and order in my life.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Dear Jesus,

I need you every hour. Please save me, my Lord and my Savior. Please take away all of the chaos and bring order to my life. Please help me to have mental, financial and household order in my life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.


It is never too late for a person to change. We may never get back those whom we have hurt and lost but we can choose how we act in the future. We can continue to destroy relationships and blame everybody else, or we can surrender and conform to God’s will. We need to give God a chance. Surrender.


My life seems to be a continual and ongoing struggle. God has used many people snd things in my life that made me who I am today. . I have a new DBT therapist. My therapist is a tool in the hands of our Sovereign God. God helps her to help me. I am giving God a chance to change me from the inside out. Surrender.


Whatever you are going through, give it to Jesus. Do not be ashamed to ask for help. Don’t just complain and feel sorry for yourself ( I need to learn to do that myself ). Joyce Meyer says that when you complain 80% of the people don’t care and 20% of the people think you deserve it. When all I do is complain, I am not giving God a chance. Surrender.


I asked myself, am I a blessing or a burden? Do I do nice things for others without needing a thank you or anything else in return? Do I seek to console people or do I just want to be consoled? Do I try to understand people or do I only want others to understand me? (I stole those last two lines from St Francis of Assisi..) Give God a chance to turn your life around so that you are a blessing to others. Surrender.


I have been told that we can have joy even in the hard times of life. Real peace, real joy, meaning in life comes from God. Who or what gives me great joy? Am I as excited about God as I am about a concert, a baseball game, a getaway weekend, or a new car? Give God a chance. Ask Him to give you peace, joy and meaning and He will. Go to church. Open your Bible and read it. Surrender.


Take that first step of faith. Walk through those church doors. Introduce yourself to people. Ask them about themselves or their church. You will know right away if it is a warm and friendly church. But try it three or four times – give God a chance to bless you with a caring accepting body of believers. Surrender.


20 “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Dear God,

Lord help me to surrender my wants, my needs, my struggles and my will to Your Divine will for me. I feel like there is someone who really needs to read this blog. I ask that this blog would be a blessing to someone tonight, tomorrow, the next day, or the day after that. In Jesus name I pray, amen.




One step forward, two steps back…. Last week was terrible. If it was a trial of my faith, I failed miserably.


On Monday I went to the God of all wisdom, truth, righteousness, holiness, love and comfort. God led me to the first chapter of Proverbs. After reading the chapter warning us not to reject wisdom, counsel, reprimand, the fear of the Lord or face God’s punishment, I realized I was out of God’s will, fighting not only with two friends, but fighting against God. Two step forwards and about ten steps back…


I am not the godly woman that God wants me to be- the godly woman I want to be. ; I am often stubborn, arrogant, self- righteous, and I battle with depression and a terrible temper. After looking at myself in the mirror, yesterday, I saw once again, my own sinfulness. I had to decide: what do I do now? Where do I go from here?


Why are these three words so hard for me to say? I really hate to admit it when I am wrong. Yesterday, I repented of my sin, asked God to forgive me and publicly apologized to the two women I had wronged. Whether they choose to forgive me or not is up to them. I did my part.


And then, God blessed me. I had a great Fourth of July with my husband and two dogs. I received a photo of my granddaughter in a text message after not hearing from my son, her daddy, in two long months, and I was able to receive reprimand from an estranged brother, and write him a nice postcard. God touched my heart and I sent postcards to brighten the day of a few people that I dearly love. I am feeling great today.


Today, I do not want to slip into complacency. I just read another chapter in Proverbs, and I read that God loves me no matter what is going on in my life [from the book Lies Women Believe] and now I need to prepare for the day ahead with prayer. But first… I need to make a fresh pot of hot coffee…. today is going to be a good day!


If someone wrote a letter of rebuke to you, and pointed out your sins, what would be in that letter? Where do you stand with God, with your family members and with others? How would you receive that letter? Will you humble yourself, repent of your sins and ask God to forgive you? Have you ever put your faith in Jesus to begin with? Has there ever been a time where you turned from your sins, asked God to forgive you, trusted in Jesus’s death on the cross and resurrection, and asked him to be the Lord and Savior of your life? What is keeping you from doing that right now, right here today?

Dear Jesus,

I thank you for loving me, for praying for me, for dying in the cross to pay for all of my sin. Thank you for straightening me out and putting me back on the right path. I fail you over and over over again but each time you forgive me, you encourage me and you put me back on the right path. I thank you for your love, grace and mercy. I thank you for the love of my husband, my family, my dogs, my friends and my church family. I do not know what lies ahead of me today, but you do. Please give me the strength that I need to face whatever comes my way. Please help my thoughts, attitudes, words and actions to be pleasing to you today. Help me to show love, mercy, compassion, patience and forgiveness to others. In Your name I pray, amen.



I just listened to Joyce Meyer. I used to get up early and watch her on tv. Now I listen to her on my iPhone app. I decided to share her message with you. This message can turn your life around. Below are quotes from this morning‘s messages do Bible Scriptures.

If you want an upgrade and God power in your life, start living a life without anger and offense. See what God does for you. He will honor you because he knows it’s hard, but if you wait on him, to be your vindicator, people will never get by with hurting you. God will always bring it back around and reward you – but only if you do it God‘s way.

When someone is telling you what someone did to them, try to talk them out of it. Try to help them understand that it’s a waste of God’s time and a waste of your time. It is not in any way going to solve the problem. If we are going to study the Bible let’s live it!

If you decide to forgive someone and you don’t feel any different don’t let the devil deceive you. How are you feel has nothing to do with it. If you forgive them, you pray for them. You speak well of them. If there’s a need that comes up, and you can meet that need, then meet that need. That is the full force of forgiveness. Hebrews 12:15

Pray that God will enable you to forgive someone every day. Pray to God to show you yourself and show you the truth. Don’t open doors for the Devil by staying mad. 2 Corinthians 1:10

I don’t think what people do that makes us upset – it’s what we expect them to do. We have unrealistic expectations of people. He/she is not making me happy. It’s not his/her job to make you happy.You want some thing that God is never going to give you because He doesn’t want you depending on other people [to make you happy], He wants you depending on Him [to make you happy].

See to it that no one falls short of God‘s grace; that no root of bitterness Springs up and causes trouble, and buy it many be defiled.” Hebrews 12:15

Lord, you have revealed a root of bitterness in me. I guess it has been building up for a long time. Thank you for revealing this. Please help me to forgive them, and forgive me for looking to them to find my happiness. It is not their job to make me happy. Those things come only from You. I ask you to help me not to be angry, upset or bitter towards people and reveal to me when I am giving the devil an opportunity to work in my heart. In Jesus name I pray, amen.




DBT Stands for dialectical behavioral therapy. The definition for dialectical comes from the word dialectic. The word dialectic comes from Socrates: It is the Socratic technique of opposing false beliefs and bringing forth the truth. Behavioral therapy changes the way we behave. DBT therapy changes our incorrect thinking and our unacceptable behavior. It is usually targeted for the person with borderline personality disorder, but it can be useful for anyone.


In the first event, someone who was being paid to drive me to an important specialist’s appointment was not at my address on time. They would have arrived 25 minutes late and as a result I missed my appointment. Normally I would have been charged $50 for a missed appointment, but the doctor’s office made an exception this one time.


The second time, a friend was taking me to see a movie I really wanted to see and was 30 minutes late. We would have races to get there, rushed in to see the movie, waited in line, and missed the previews and the beginning of the movie. I love to watch the previews of other movies coming out soon, and if you miss the beginning of the movie, the movie is just not as good.


Both of these events were important to me and I was really looking forward to these events. I was disappointed and angry both times and I wanted to yell, scream and chew the person out. That is my normal response when things go wrong in my life, because of my borderline personality disorder, my bipolar depression disorder, and my anxiety disorder. I do not handle things as well as healthy, mentally stable adults.


How would you have reacted? Would you have reacted in anger and called the transportation company, had the person written up for being late snd saying that person would never be allowed to drive me again? That is exactly what I did. How would you have reacted to the friend who is repeatedly late? What would you have said? What would you have done? Would you have said anything? The first time, I did everything above. But the second time, it was a friend whom I dearly love and I appreciate her driving 45 minutes to come and visit me, and then drive another 45 minutes home again.


This was a perfect opportunity to use a DBT skill that I am learning. The acronym is the word DEAR MAN. The words for the acronyms are the words, Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindfully, Appear and Negotiate. So I tried to remember all of the words to the acronyms, and use this skill to communicate my anger in an effective way.


DESCRIBE just the the facts. Dear friend, you were 30 minutes late. We would have raced to get to the movie, rushed from the parking lot into the theater, waited in line, and missed the previews and beginning of the movie.


EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS. I felt hurt and disrespected. If I was important enough, she would have been on time. She had sent me the previews, I really wanted to see the movie and I was disappointed, sad and angry at her for being 30 minutes late. If it was a doctor’s appointment, I think she would have been on time.


ASSERT myself by asking for what I want or by saying no. I asserted myself by refusing to go to the movie. She was fine with that. [We stayed home and played cards instead, which was fine, and we went to Dollar General for a birthday card for my husband’s mother.] I asserted myself when I asked her to set a timer the next time, and be on time. She said no. She had that option. She does not have to take me anywhere and she does not have to be on time in the future if she does not want to be.


Reinforce or Reward the person ahead of time. If she is on time in the future, or even comes early, we can go see the movie, or go to see any other event which is something we would both like to go to.


MINDFULLY keep my focus on my goal. I am told to my position. In the future I will be on. In the future, I would like her to make me a priority, respect me, respect my time, and be on time.


APPEAR confident, effective and confident. I stood up straight, used a calm but confident tone of voice, looked at her face to face, and made good eye contact with her.


NEGOTIATE. Be willing to give to get. Ask the other person for solutions to this problem. My feelings are hurt when someone is not on time. I take it personally. I should have asked, what can we do to make sure you are on time in the future? How can I help you to be early, or on time? Let’s focus on what will work.

Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Ephesians 4:26

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God… Ephesians 4:29-30

Dear Father,

I thank you for this loving and caring friend. She drives many miles round trip to come and visit me. She has sympathized, comforted and encouraged many times – times too numerous to count. I thank you for her. Please help her to respect and value my time and be early, or on time. Help me to let it slide if she is not on time. Help me not to react in anger or do anything that would be hurtful to my friend. I love her so much. My friend is going through really hard times of her own. Help me to remember that, and be patient, kind and loving towards her. Please help her through the hard days she has ahead of her. Draw her close to You. In Jesus name I pray, amen.




We all have our morning routines. I get up, have a cup of coffee and I skim. In the past, people read their morning newspaper when they were waking up. I skim.I skim through my emails hoping that one person would write me an email. I get so many emails. I skim through Facebook posts and try to encourage others who have shared a part of themselves in a Facebook post. After that I shower, eat breakfast, take my medicine, and read my Bible. I pray.


This morning their was a previously recorded live video from Kirk Cameron, a great man of God. I don’t usually have time for a live video, but his are really short and really good. And I need marriage advice, so I decided to listen.


The topic caught my attention: Love Dare Day 8. It was a good video. After searching three times I finally found my old Love Dare book in my big black bookcase. It is a great book if you really use it and do each love dare. I know that this can really improve our marriage.


It said a few things. Marriage is a treasure. It is a gift from God; ask anyone who has lost their husband or wife. They would give anything to have one more day. It said that the two pillars holding a marriage up re patience and kindness. When my partner does or says something that makes me angry, instead of losing my temper, I should grant mercy to them. God has shown me great mercy.


It showed the passage in the Bible that said we can speak ( or write) beautifully, have great knowledge, and give generously to the poor but if we do not have love those things do not profit me at all.



Well I am going to try to do this all day today, and then again tomorrow.

Dear Jesus,

You have been so merciful to me. Please help me to be humble, merciful, loving and kind to my husband and to others today. In Your name I am asking You, amen.